it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
