i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
