remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
