I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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