I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
