well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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