I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
