Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize