I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
