you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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