Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
