I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize