Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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