Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
