I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
