I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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