I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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