we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
