One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
