Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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