Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
