3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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