Can i not drive my cunt home
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This is the high leading the old right now
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
