Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
