So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm getting married
To pizza
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
