matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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