If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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