I am in a vortex of obligation.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
