just come out here and I will go home with you...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
