I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
