she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
