What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
