He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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