I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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