In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
