He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
where does the pee come out of this thing
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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