Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
