I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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