im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I seem to have left my pride at pride
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She bit a glass in half.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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