Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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