just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
