Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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