he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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