I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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