Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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