Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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