Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
