Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
is that a dick in a sweater?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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