There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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