She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize