check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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