is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
