Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
