I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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