I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It was confusing and full of hummus
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
