is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
