he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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