he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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