i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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