i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize