I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize